womanhood

OK, let’s do this.

I’m a very average working mum.  In my thirties, always tired, overweight, stressed out.

I spend a lot of time being cross with myself for not doing enough.  I don’t keep the house tidy enough, I don’t cook healthy enough food, I don’t make enough of an effort with my appearance, I don’t have enough patience with the kids, I don’t pay enough attention to my husband, I don’t have enough energy, I don’t keep in touch with friends enough, I don’t earn enough, I’m not thin enough, I’m not fit enough, I’m just scraping by with things, but not enough.

Then there’s too much.  I eat too much.  I work too much.  I Facebook too much.  I sit around in a daze too much.  I spend too much time indulging myself in “leisure” things when I should be doing some of the stuff in the not enough list.  I spend too much.  I nag too much.  I worry too much.  I yell too much.  I rush too much.  It’s just too much.

I really want to achieve a few goals (don’t we all?).  Those goals used to be: get thin, earn more, be a better mum.  But I’m going to try a different tack.  My goals are to look after my body, to look after my mind, and to be a good mum.

I intend to do this through the media of cycling, being a bit of a feminist, occasional forays into crochet and generally trying to nurture myself (that sounds like some bad hippy shit, but the thesaurus drew a blank so it stays).

So yeah.  Let’s do this.

Advertisements